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Dr. Anadlu Cortes

Learning to Ask and Accept H-E-L-P



I get it. Who likes to ask for help when they have questions or are struggling with an idea or life challenge? Who likes to reach out to others in fear that they may be judged differently? What gets in the way of asking for help? Is it our ego? Pride? Both? I have experienced this myself. There have been plenty of times before where I felt that I had to know it all to do it all on my own and get full credit. Whether it was a school project, a chore at home, or a work project, there was a feeling that I gained when I did something on my own. In fact, when I accomplished things on my own, I learned that it gave me a sense of confidence, assertiveness, and acknowledgment from others. Don't get me wrong, these are all good things, however, the self-sabotage that happened during the process was what wasn't forgiving for me. Again, why didn't I ask for help when I thought things were going wrong? Why didn't I ask for help when I was so close to giving up? Much of it had to do with my pride and ego because if I didn't do it on my own and get through it on my own, then I wasn't "worthy" or "good enough." Can you relate?


It happens to all of us at one point or another. That is something I had to learn the hard way. In fact, for some, it is quite embarrassing to ask for help. We don't feel equipped or up for the challenge when we do ask for help and this is an example of how we can get in the way of ourselves. I am sure you have heard that we are our own worst critiques. Well, it is true. But, we are also our own worst block builders where we block our own successes and strides by not asking others for help. As humans, we are composed and wired to be in need of others. Whether it is a family member, your spouse, partner, you name it, we all need of each other. The people that will truly care for you and for your success, will not judge you. In fact, they will most likely be the ones to continue to look up to you for your continuous efforts and strength.


So, the next time someone offers to help you or if you find yourself in need of help and are wanting to ask for it, take the risk. Accept it. Ask for it and grow through the process. You will be humbled by such an experience but most importantly, you will more likely ask for help more often and exchange ideas with others. This is a learning process and through it all, we have to learn to be humble, respect others' thoughts and ideas but most importantly, be eager to climb up to your success and achieve your goal(s). At the end of the day, others are more likely to help you simply because of who YOU are as a human being. Let's be kind to one another and remember, asking for help is a learning process but, it is OK to ask for it when needed.




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