Are you in a relationship where you feel stuck and seem like things aren’t progressing with your partner? Does he/she belittle you and your values? When arguing, does he/she yell out hurtful words or perhaps even place hands on you and hurt you both mentally and physically? An abusive relationship can be both physical and mental. Unfortunately, there are people that are so accustomed to this type of behavior in a relationship that they see nothing wrong with it and decide to stay in their relationship. The problem with this is that when factoring the long- term consequences, this can be devastating when both individuals do not have effective communication, trust and appreciation for one another. When these components are failing in a relationship, abusive tendencies can surface depending how each individual handles the situation. However, if you ever find yourself in a relationship that is both mentally and/or physically abusive, you must remember these 5 things:
1) You are worthy of so much and you deserve better.
He/she doesn’t have to buy you the world to show you that they love you. The other person should want to be with you because they see your worth, your hard working skills and are proud to call you their significant other. They should love your imperfections and your authentic self.
2) How others treat you can be a reflection of how you are treating yourself.
Remember that you cannot find love, respect and approval in others if you do not grant this to yourself first. Everything you want from other people are actions and gifts that you should be giving yourself before you seek out other people in your life.
3) You can change how you react to excruciating circumstances.
Do not act impulsively. Reacting this way when facing difficulties in a relationship can permanently change things forever. Do not act out of anger, desperation or hate. Instead, think, speak and act in congruency with your self worth and self- value. Reacting impulsively can lead to regret.
4) You are not alone and can always seek help.
Do not be afraid to talk to your family, friends, mentors or coaches. They can allow you to view things differently and may advise you on how to best feel safe, loved and strong. When you seek out help, it demonstrates a sign of strength as opposed to weakness. It shows that you have had enough and are seeking out help in order to take a step forward from your situation.
5) Above all, forgive those who have done you wrong and choose true and authentic love.
Take the time to think, reflect and forgive those who have done you wrong in the past. Do not hold onto anger or hate. Wish the other person happiness, love and many blessings. This will allow you to live in freedom and at peace with yourself. It takes a really strong person to forgive, to move forward and to accept that what has happened in your life has not happened to you but rather for you! Begin to live a life of freedom, happiness and love.